Choices

There once was a girl
Who hated the world
Because of what it did to her
She used to smile and laugh
But that's in the past
Because all the world did was hurt
Her father was unbearable
But her mask was still wearable
There was nothing she could do
She did it for "Mama"
Oblivious to the drama
In saying her false "I love you"
She was unnoticed at school
She would never be "cool"
And sat in the classrooms, silent
Her friends were okay
But sometimes turned away
And 'til now she didn't know what it meant
When reality came crashing
Inside she was thrashing
She wanted to return to before
She was caught in the dark
And the black filled her heart
She'd lost all of her euphoria
Her mom was in pain
Attempts to heal were in vain
She only made her mother hurt more
She wanted to heal
But the girl could feel
Her true feelings only showed behind closed doors
The mother grew mad
As the girl grew sad
And the two were at an impasse
The girl hid the struggle
Of her emotional juggle
But she knew her secrets couldn't last
Attempts to talk
Were not a cake walk
As she knew what her mother would say
So she stared at the knife
Her head filled with strife
As she wondered if she'd regret That Day
She'd backed down before
But maybe not anymore
As she found other ways to hurt
A bite to the hand
For she knew it would mend
But to her dismay the pain was curt
Her head riddled with migraines
Her body aching in other pains
The girl had a secret solution
She planned it out on her bed
Kept it sealed in her head
How to erase herself as a source of pollution
She'd powered through now
Some way, somehow
She'd managed to make it this far
But the hate grows and grows
And the others never know
Her existence is as toxic as tar
She lives in her own world
To escape, this girl
Tries her best to ignore the "voices"
But should she stay? Should she go?
The girl doesn't know
Because she still doesn't like her choices